Share Your Shame: The Island
Recently I purged my collection of shameful DVDs in an attempt to hide my failings as a sensible, intelligent human being. I didn’t do this to look cool – no one comes into my room except for my mum, girlfriend and cat, all of whom I assume wouldn’t abandon me due to a questionable film in my possession – but instead did it to hide the shame from myself. No longer did I want to look over to my DVDs and see such gems as Alien Vs Predator: Requiem, Speed Racer, something called Undercover Brother, and worst of all, The Happening.
All of those films – plus many more – ripped from my shelf and sent packing to the money for old rope shop. All those DVDs forever assigned to history. Wiped from my memory. The shame cleansed. However a handful have survived the cull. Dross like The Matrix Revolutions. Smokin’ Aces. Jurassic Park III. Yet there’s one turkey I love more than all the others…
The Island.
Released in 2005. Seen by next to no one (Box Office Mojo has it grossing just under $36 Million in the US). Dismissed by most people who did see it. The Island is Michael Bay’s other sci-fi spectacular – the one that doesn’t involve giant robots beheading each other or Bruce Willis drilling a hole in an asteroid. Instead it’s that film where Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson go on the run after they discover they’re clones created to be spare body parts for their wealthy owners. Basically it’s Logan’s Run, but with more explosions.
I know I’m asking for ridicule for openly supporting a Michael Bay movie, but The Island isn’t terrible. In fact it’s decidedly average, which means it’s probably Michael Bay’s best film.
Sure it makes the entire cast look like they’ve never seen a film before, let alone acted in one. Okay, it’s packed full of gratuitous product placement. And yeah, maybe it’s a rip off The Clonus Horror, as well as a clone of other, better films in the sci-fi genre. But it’s still a reasonably exciting and decently paced yarn, which explores some interesting ideas such as identity and what makes us human. And of course, no one can blow shit up like Michael Bay and make it look so gorgeous – with Bay deciding to tone down his “fucking the frame” antics for once.
I should be ashamed to have this DVD in my collection, yet I’m not. Somehow I find it entertaining. Somehow I really do like it. I can’t be the only one… surely…
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