News Flash! – The Bottom of the barrel has been found

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the Makers of Meet The Spartans, Vampires Suck and Date Movie have found the basis for their next ‘comedy’ movie. Spending all but 2 minutes working out the title the duo’s next project will be The Starving Games, which in case you couldn’t tell (the play on words would shame Shakespeare himself) it’s a spoof of the Hunger Games (See what they did there, so clever I mean somebody call Mensa!).

Personally I would rather endure one of Jigsaws traps, or as James Woods said in The Hard Way “Not if you tied my tongue to your tail-pipe and drove me eighty miles-an-hour naked across a field of broken glass. No. No. ”

Granted their movies are modest in budget and somehow manage to turn a tidy profit so they must have fans out there somewhere. Are you one? If so, why?!!?

I have seen two of their movies (one by accident) and there wasn’t a laugh in the entire cinema, several people left shortly after it started and by the end the 25 strong audience was no more than 10, I believe 2 audience members died of boredom and one had eaten his own face so he wouldn’t have to watch anymore.

The Starving Games will likely be out in cinemas in no time at all as very little care over the quality, acting, continuity, humour, consistency, tone, jokes, production value, writing, direction, and all those silly little things that other filmmakers care about. Because lets face it Friedberg and Seltzer are so good they can write their own ticket, as long as that ticket is to hell and is one way then I and the general public can sleep better at night.

Although please good people, please don’t see anymore of their movies they are not big or clever or funny. We, the public, decide what’s a hit (to an extent) so I beg of you not to waste anymore of your hard earned money on these hacks.