Trailer Trash: Total Recall (2012)

Now, if filling Matt Damon’s shoes sounds like a tough job, who would be fool enough to try and fit inside Schwarzenegger’s hush puppies? Well, Colin Farrell it seems, if the new trailer for the Total Recall remake is anything to go by. Years in the offing, it started to look like it would never happen (and thereby proving once and for all the power of positive prayer) until Farrell stepped up to the plate and took the job.

The fact that it was being directed by Mr Kate Beckinsale (directing his first film since the frankly not-up-to-snuff Die Hard 4.0) was hardly a cause for excitement either, as was the news that he’d cast his wife in the Sharon Stone role. The writing was on the wall; this was going to be an all-out bum-cake with a warm poopy topping…

So. As a fan of the original, a Schwarzenegger child, what did I make of the trailer?

Well, to be honest, it looked OK. It looks more serious than the original that’s for sure with a darker tone and an absence of the weird pastel colour scheme that springs to mind when I envision Verhoeven’s original. I don’t mind Farrell truth be told but the rest of the cast could be a little more inspiring, although Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston is always a joy and there’s never much to complain about when Jessica Biel’s in town.

I was a little underwhelmed by the money shot, in which Farrell’s subdued skills re-surface and he takes out a roomful of guys in one continuous move; it reminded me of some of the awful, reliant-on-CG action set pieces that sprung up in the wake of The Matrix, all unnaturally smooth panning and bendy-bodied CG characters. Still, while not exactly hopeful, I’m not quite as down on the idea as I was before. Now all it will take is an extended trailer to either kill it or save it.

We shall see.

Jim